its good friday

We went to a Good Friday noon service today.  It was short but the scripture passages alone were worth the being there and pondering anew.  Isaiah 53

to ryan, david, erin and others

These names belong to special people.  People who have gone unnamed for the most part.  While the name of another person is elevated almost to mythical heights.  There is a big difference to me between these names, between these people.

The three I have named here have an ongoing relationship with me.  They are the ones who have loved Renee and included Dena and I in their love.  The other person has no relationship with me or our family.  I have never had a conversation with him.  We have exchanged some heated emails but to this day he has never initiated a conversation or asked us a personal question.

Ryan was there the longest and in the very hard times before Renee broke.  David came at just the right time, almost by divine appointment.  David called when no parent wanted to hear the news he had to bring.  He was there so many hours in the hospitals and other places.  Both these young men loved my daughter as a sister in Christ.  No designs, agenda's or strings.  Erin was there too but I have not known her that much because of distance.

I write this tonight as just the beginning of what I have felt so long and need to say repeatedly.  THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! THANK YOU FOR LOVING OUR DAUGHTER AND FOR LOVING US!  Words will never express the gratitude we feel towards your noble, sacrificial deeds and persistence. 

My desire is that each of you will receive the recognition so deserving and seen as the example of friendship you are while here on earth without detracting one iota from your eternal rewards!

change of title

Three Generations

Well, after my earlier blog today I realized the original title of this blog " i am her father" is not fitting.  The title may be a work in progress but as for now it is "a dad's view."  I do want to write just to hurting parents as well so maybe I will create another blog more narrow in focus.

getting up to speed

So, I am in downtown Orlando today sitting in an open office area on the 17th floor of the Plaza building.  This is the office space used by Bonded Entertainment, Renee's management company. (It's not Renee's company but the company that manages her booking etc.) They have graciously given me permission to work here when I find working from home getting to me.

I don't come everyday.  Parking in downtown Orlando costs $1 per hour and I can't justify spending $6-7 per day to use the office here.  On occasions I have driven from home to a nearby hospital and left my car to take the bus downtown.  It costs $4 per day to do this.  It takes much longer to get to the office but it has it's upside besides the cheaper cost.  It saves gas and tolls as well but also gives me forced time to read on my way to work!  I actually like "...leaving the driving to us"  bus ride.  For those of you not old enough to remember, that was a paraphrase of the Greyhound Bus slogan back in the 50's or 60"s on television commercials!  YES, they actually advertised on TV and the complete slogan was, "Take the bus and leave the driving to us!"

While living in Moscow, Russia we did not have a car but took public transportation everywhere.  I really enjoyed the slower pace of using it even while not necessarily convenient at times.  Driving brings it's own stress to me and the constant need of paying attention to my driving as well as the driving of others.  You have to plan in the day the extra time but again it actually relaxed me to ride and not be in control of the speed in which I may travel.  When I drive I feel the need to "get there" as quickly as possible.  I have power and control to some degree.  I learn from public transportation that surrender can be a good thing and it brings me benefits.

Well, can you see where this is leading me?  Issues of "power," "control," and "surrender" are exactly the issues God brings to my life in my relationship to Him.  They are also mirrored in any recovery work and our steps to sanity.  Surrender of my will (power and control) to God and His will brings the greatest experience of contentment and peace into my life!

enabling

What's it called when I care more about something in someone else's life than they do?  When I try to "help" them because I  don't want negative consequences coming their way. You know, the reminders, hints, FYIs, subtle or not so subtle placement of bills, due dates or even tax related documents in hopes they will want to be as responsible as I think I am.  

So is that the message I am sending?  Be responsible like "responsible me!"  Sounds like a movie title. oh wait, that was "Despicable Me!"    nough said.