thinking about pain and purpose

Our daughter has experienced considerable pain.  Pain is what drove her to do some of the destructive things she has done to herself.  That is what she has said to us and what her counselors, with her permission, have said to us.  Her book of journals is called Purpose for the Pain. 


There is another pain I write about.  It is not to minimize or diminish my daughter's pain.  It is however another pain.  The pain that a mother and father feels when their children make destructive decisions.  It hurts when someone you love hurts.  When our children hurt, we hurt.  It is painful and sometimes feels unbearable.  Numbness, paralysis, confusion and  panic come with it especially in the midst of a crisis.  We cry and breakdown then agonize in prayer to God hoping for a quick and immediate "fix" or answer to the pain in all of us.  For us at least the answer did not come quick and when it did come it came more as a process and unfolding not a completion. 


The Bible speaks about "trials."  Not court trials like the trial of Casey Anthony going on in Orlando now but trials of another kind.  In fact the Bible uses words like "various" or "many kinds" to describe these trials we all face.  While the immediate trial mentioned in the Bible is probably more connected to the persecution of believers in Jesus, I think the "various and many kinds" would encompass what we go through as parents.


Here is what I am getting at.  Trials (and associated pain) as mentioned in the Bible is called a "test" and specifically a test of "faith."  Trials are used by God to test the genuineness of our faith in God.  Our faith in God is considered of greater worth than gold!  It's a big deal, our faith, and big enough that God will allow all kinds of trials in order to test it and prove it's genuineness since the goal of our faith is the salvation of our souls.


Another way of putting this is, are you going to allow the destructive decisions of someone else, even someone you love, to cause you to loose your soul?  Isn't the whole point behind the greatest commandment in the Bible is to love God supremely and totally, MORE than we love anyone else?  Would you give up on your faith if Casey Anthony is convicted of murder?  Would you give up your faith over Congressman Wiener's decisions?  No, because you probably don't know these people and don't have a loving relationship with them.  Will you give up your faith if someone you love destroys themselves?  If the answer is yes, then who do you love more, God or your child?